The best way to make New friends in college

It makes some sense, to me at least!

The goal is to transform an activity-based group into a relationship-based group, and in my experience the hardest part of that is the missing link of “how to get from meeting every Thursday at 4pm to practice judo to hanging out on a random Saturday to watch a game and check out that new restaurant?” is difficult to achieve. This tip actually lays out a pretty good method.

The hardest part for me used to be the rejections. There will always be some, or many rejections on the way. I don’t know how many times I have met someone in a class/club/whatever that I want to get to know better. With some of them I feel like it’s mutual and that we have good chemistry together, but still it has been difficult to take it a step further and to meet outside of the organized activities. Sometimes they are interested as well, they just really don’t have time, other times they are not looking for new friends, or because they might not see you as a compatible friend pair, or they might not even like you at all. Nobody can be liked be everyone, that’s just life. I don’t like everyone either, and there are people I might even like, that I think are great and fun people, but we just don’t have chemistry together.

Learning to not take the rejections personally and not get discouraged has helped me tremendously (though it’s hard, and it doesn’t always work). I try to tell myself, okay, so it didn’t work out with that person, but maybe it will work out with another. And if you keep on trying, you will find those it does work out with, and you will get better at it over time as well.

I have also realized, as others have mentioned, that is easier to bring a group of people, and not just one or two persons, out of the organized setting first, and then slowly get to know people better. For example invite a bunch of classmates to hang out in the park together, go to a party, have board game night, whatever you/they think is an enjoyable and non-committing activity (nothing that screams we are/going to be best friends). Then later when you have already been doing stuff together, it is easier to invite just one or two or three persons that go well together for a coffee or smaller get together.

Some friendships are formed quickly, but most of the time it takes time and work.

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